Metatron X Madame Q is here to answer, discuss and advise on all BDSM topics and play gear. Ask anything! Don't be shy.


Dear Madame Q,

I am a recent Metatron customer. I don’t remember exactly how I came to the site. If I had to guess, I think a good friend of mine sent me there. Yeah, that’s right. She’s kind of wild, so I wasn’t sure what it would be like, but I was enthralled and bought a few things. Anyway, I’m writing to ask a question that’s been puzzling me: how do you know if you are submissive? I mean like a real submissive? How does someone know?

Confused in California


Dear Confused in California,

Your curiosity about the BDSM world is very well timed. There has almost never been a better moment to dip into it than now. People are beginning to realize that life is more than the usual boring scripted relationships we are taught about from birth. Dom and sub personas, and the interactions they create, can make a relationship blossom, and have you looking forward to every bit of alone time with your partner. BDSM is no longer on the outside of culture; it’s moving towards the heart of everyday behavior, and METATRON is there to provide quality gear for both new and experienced participants.

But your question is a good one. We aren’t necessarily born knowing that we are submissive or dominant, although we may feel a proclivity towards one or the other. Perhaps first you find a general attraction to sadism, or to masochism, to discipline, to bondage, and then it’s time to begin to explore, by trying one role and then another and seeing how they make you feel. Of course you should discuss such things with your partner first. The hallmark of a safe and functioning BDSM relationship is transparency and safety, and that is accomplished through clear communication, always.

Good luck,

Madame Q

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1 comment

Love this. Thank you for spelling it all out.


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